tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23284097.post6451450644726226116..comments2023-09-03T07:38:56.746-04:00Comments on Musings and Observations...: Depression and other things.....Crazy Computer Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00050349204017128913noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23284097.post-8853993326061502612008-04-09T19:25:00.000-04:002008-04-09T19:25:00.000-04:00Your frustrations sound so much like mine, but I'm...Your frustrations sound so much like mine, but I'm dealing with these same issues with a 15 year-old. <BR/><BR/>The rule has always been, "If you break it, repair it or replace it." Period. There won't be any trouble if you A) admit you broke it, and B) work out a plan to repair it or replace it. <BR/><BR/>To this day, he will deny he was anywhere near it, insist that it somehow broke on its own accord, or blame someone else. I finally had him write out a list of everything he's broken, damaged, lost, or claimed was "stolen" in the last four years (as long as he's been here). I allowed him to draw a line through anything he purchased with his own money. Then I asked him to circle all the items I punished him for breaking. <BR/><BR/>He studied the list (it took up the front and back of a sheet of paper), looked up at me and said "I can't circle anything." <BR/><BR/>My son is quite the linear thinker. Seeing it in black and white like that made it pretty clear to him that I'm fairly tolerant of accidents. I did point out that the only thing he's ever gotten in hot water over was not taking responsibility for what he's done. The rule remains: Repair or replace what you break. <BR/><BR/>I also pointed out that there was roughly $3,000 worth of damages listed on that paper, and that he had become quite an expensive person to have around. I asked him who he would pay $3,000 to hang out with? "I can't afford that," he said. <BR/><BR/>I told him that one second of thought would have prevented each of those "accidents," so in less than a minute, he could have saved me $3,000, but he refuses to give me that second of thought. <BR/><BR/>I'm sure it will persist, but at least it appears that he's understanding that he could have prevented the damage of every single thing on that list if he'd just stop himself for ONE second and think. <BR/><BR/>I don't know how to teach him to resist EVERY impulse until he takes a second to think about what might happen "next."Donhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07489955518434293078noreply@blogger.com