Smores....

We had smores last week. I should have written then, but I was distracted. We had a campfire, marshmallows, graham crackers, chocolate bars, the works. A friend had an excellent recommendation. She said to use reeses cups. Mmmmmmm. Yum. I love reeses! I LOVE reeses. Our campfire was actually a sterno fuel cup. We have a small smores set built for dining rooms. Metal pokers for roasting the marshmallows over the flame. The marshmallows burst in flame a couple of times. We had a blast, but not literally. The reeses were a huge hit and will be part of my smores adventures from now on!

Week days and Saturdays...

The week is hustle and bustle for us. Up at the last possible moment in the morning. To School just before tardy. To work in enough time to work eight hours and still get home to get my son by 6:00pm. Exercise or not exercise. Home to cook dinner. Do something for a few minutes with Brandon, TV, Game, something, then Brandon goes to bed. I am up for a little while making phone calls, reading blogs, writing blogs, email, bills, etc. Then we do it again the next day. Some days I forget to breathe, and it shows. No oxygen is getting to my brain. The first half of the day at work I drink coffee. The second half, water. Eat? Maybe. This isn't really even existing. Not for me, not for my son.

Saturday will bring Kayaking if the weather doesn't turn bad. We had a great kayak camping trip back in March. I'll have to post a picture of the shells and sand dollars we found. Before or after kayaking will be Spiderman 3. Anyone want to come along?

~Mike

Grrrrr....

Wine festival is Saturday in Norfolk. No babysitter. It probably would be better to take my son kayaking and to see Spiderman 3. It is a wine festival though. Wine, and lots of it. Lots of RED wine. GRRRR.

Beer festival is next Saturday.

Salmon tonight turned out very well. Huge 2 lb slab. I sprinkle it with old bay or some other fish rub, basil, and some olive oil. Cook it at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Scrumptious every time. Better when still hot. I'll have salmon for a week though! :-)

I am seriously jonesing for some sushi. I think this weekend will include a trip to my favorite sushi place. My son loves sushi too. Dragon rolls and Rainbow rolls are his favorite.

~Mike

No sense laughing over spilled milk...

Well, Tuesday night we spent two hours rock climbing. My hands and forearms were very tired after that. Wednesday night I did my upper body workout, which consists of weightlifting for my chest, shoulders, back, and arms. Brandon and I had to stop at the grocery store to get a few things and pick up a prescription. I know all of the pharmacists and helpers there now. It seems like I am there every week or so with some new prescription for either my son or I. I have a mini pharmacy in my kitchen now. The main thing I needed was milk and cereal for my son. I should have also picked up a couple of bottles of wine and some beer, alas, another time. Did I mention I had really worked my arms over the past 24 hours? We got home and unloaded the car. I went out to get the last two bags and the milk. I was holding onto the milk with my right hand while raising it to close the hatchback. The downward motion with the milk was too much for my tired hand and the milk kersplatted on the ground. Immediately the container ushered forth the gulp gulp gulp sound of escaping milk. A small white lake formed on my driveway followed by a small white river snaking away from the lake, while the gulp gulp gulp sound continued to signal that the bottom of the gallon container was cracked wide open and allowing the milk to escape. I started laughing. What else can you do right? Then, duh-duh, a bright idea shone in the darkness. I could pick it up, turn it upside down and get the rest of it into a pitcher! Milk is far too expensive to just laugh or cry over anymore. Turning it upside down allowed me to discover that the container was fractured on both ends. Oh well, there will be a milk trail in the house, but the milk must be saved! I ran inside and placed it in the sink. I directed my son to start wiping up the milk trail whilst I located the long lost pitcher. Fortunately it was quickly found and I believe we saved at least a half gallon, if not more, of milk. Not a noteworthy story by any measure, but if that is the most exciting thing that happens this week then I'll be very happy.

My son brought home a letter from the gifted education teacher at his school. The letter was for me. I had asked her to send me some information on a seminar they had last year about "Twice Exceptional" students. You see, I was out playing volleyball at the beach and I met a special education teacher and talked to her about my son. She recalled this seminar. Now I have some information. Why they could not have given this to me when we were going through the special education committee meetings the first part of the year, I don't know. I guess I didn't know how to ask the right question, but I think I found one. So, what is twice exceptional? Some kids are considered 'gifted' and they discover this through testing. Some kids have learning disabilities and they discover this through pretty much the same method. Then you have children in the middle. Well, there is this fourth category (maybe more). Twice exceptional is used to define children that have above average intelligence, but also have learning disabilities. They often go undiagnosed because the intelligence kind of masks the disability. My son sort of falls into this category. What does it all mean? I do not know yet. I have to finish reading the material they sent home. As I blogged about previously, my son does not really 'fit' in the normal class. His grades are too good and he is too capable for special education so he does not fit there. His behavior/emotional problems also prevent him from moving into the gifted programs too. So he does not really fit anywhere. It really is no wonder he has some anger issues, I would too if I was rejected everywhere I went and by everyone I met and I could not get any help or love.

~Mike

Rock Climbing....

My son and I went rock climbing last night. We have been doing this every couple of months for about four years now. We have been more active with it lately. It is a blast. Brandon loves it. We tried a new place last night, a local sporting goods store. The employees belay you and the walls are more challenging and higher than our local rock gym. Tuesday's are 2 for 1 nights. $3 for adults ($2 for children), two climbs, and they belay and provide all of the gear. That rocks, pun intended! We'll probably end up there every Tuesday night from now on.

Check out local rock gyms around you. Most have a kids time where the employees belay the kids. It is usually coupled with a belay class for adults. Kids that like to climb (like my son and I) usually love the experience and it completely wears them out! Guaranteed nap time after the session. :-)


Brandon on the wall in 2003...


~Mike

Jedi Master....

Pretty cool what you can do with a lightsaber and an open shutter.

Dragon Hunting....

A little over a year ago, I asked my son if he wanted to go Dragon hunting. He said yes of course. We were living in Maryland and nearby was this totally magical state park, Patapsco Valley State Park. We set out in an area we hadn't been through before, looking for signs of Dragons and documenting them with pictures. Here is a narration of that journey....

Expedition leader: Brandon



The first sign we came across were these peculiar trees. It was rumored that in the presence of Dragons, these trees would not lose their leaves in winter, and the leaves would turn sort of white instead of normal fall colors.






Scorched and fallen trees are a sure sign of Dragons. Everyone knows this. Now, we did not expect to really find any Dragons. They are a mystical, magical, and loner sort of creature. We expected them to be well hidden, but we certainly found a lot of evidence that some might be around.











The railroad tracks were not a good sign. Too much civilization/industrialization. But, in such a populated area, the Dragons could use the noise to help mask their movements. We weren't sure about this.





We decided to head up this ridge to get a better vantage point of the whole valley and hopefully spot some signs that we were missing down in the brush. It wasn't an easy climb, but we made it. It did help us in our search though. At the top we found some places where it looked like Dragons liked to slide down.












We also found a tree that looked like young Dragons had scratched up. They are intelligent creatures you know, and territorial.















Dragon berries. Very important in a young Dragon's diet.















Shallow rivers and streams are very important. They are a source of water for the Dragons. The rocks also help the Dragons stay clean and scratched. Dragons have a hard time finding anyone that will scratch them you know.



We had traveled a long way by this point. We stopped to eat a snack and drink some. When we got up to continue on, we saw that we had been visited while we were resting. There was nothing in the woods around us when we sat down, but when we got up, we found three cairns around us. Now we knew we were close!



The great Dragon Expedition leader takes a leap of faith....


We found some rocks that looked like adult Dragons had been sharpening their talons on.


And that was the last clue we found that day. We never did see a Dragon, but we sure had a lot of fun looking! If you want to see more of Patapsco, check out my link on the right to my picasa page. There is an album there dedicated to Patapsco.

~Mike

Things to watch when nothing is on....

My son and I will watch movies while we eat dinner sometimes. We also watch the discovery channel and animal planet. We don't do this often mind you, but on occasion. Tonight was Discovery "What the ancients knew" and they talked about the ancient Chinese and their various inventions that it took the west hundreds or thousands of years to catch up to. We had dinner, followed by brownies and ice cream. :-)

But, when there is truly nothing on then I can recommend the following....

Monty writes about the following link, TV Links and it is a huge collection of tv shows, movies, and more. Check it out, but don't blame me if you get hooked.

The other is Joost.

I haven't tried either one but I am looking forward to it. I lag behind most tv shows by a couple of years. Pop Culture is a category of trivia I will always be terrible at. I generally just do not have the time.

Have a night, a day, a week, a month. Unplug for a bit. I did this past weekend and it did me some good. I got to talk to Jules last night and that was very encouraging. I started looking through blogs to find people that were at the very least single parents, and hoping to find some folks that I could relate to with a special needs child. The blogs to the right are a good start! Jules and Monty are always a great read with unique perspectives. Anyone that is willing to reach out and just lend a listening and empathetic ear is particularly special. It was so nice to talk to someone that has been through what I am going through.

Today was a better day. I started with a run (nearly killed me, but not quite), had a good day at work (not bad for a Monday), had a good workout this evening, and like I said above, finished with a brownie and ice cream. :-) I work out so I can eat you know.

And now a picture. The biggest BAUS (Big Ass Ugly Spider) spider I have ever had the misfortune to see in person. From Robbers Cave State Park, somewhere east of McAllister, OK, July 2002. I can palm a basketball, and this thing was nearly the size of my hand. I almost backed into it trying to get a picture of the second largest BAUS spider I have ever had the misfortune of seeing in person. I still shudder at the thought of what might have been.....



~Mike

I'm not superman....

Several years ago, I first heard Five for Fighting's "Superman (It's not easy)" and it really resonated with me. I was a single parent even then. I was spending my evenings teaching my son to swim, catch, throw, hit, duel with lightsabers, and much more. I was also trying to pay off $45K of consumer debt. I was trying to take college courses to get my degree. AND I was working full time as a Systems / Security Engineer. When my son went to bed, I was networked into customer systems, on the phone with customers, building lab models for migrations and evaluating new products, and I never slept. I took online courses through Strayer. Hell, I was also dating. I had customers that thought I was superman with networks, and they literally cheered when I walked through the door. The song resonated with me because I was tired and I knew I was not superman, I did not want to be superman. My son expected me to be superman for him. I tried to be superman for the women I dated, and they let me of course. I tried so hard not to let anyone down, to be selfless, and I couldn't say no. Things started falling apart of course. My son had his problems with behavior and school. My work wanted me to do more not less, so I was looking for another job. I finished paying off my debt. I found a job in Maryland that worked 8 hours a day and I could NOT work from home. I finished my degree. I stopped dating for a while, and honestly I shouldn't have started back again. Once I finally got somethings off my plate, I could just be that much more superman for the women I went out with, and that has been my biggest mistake.

Today I feel like I have kryptonite shackled around my neck. I have two separate doctor appointments for my son tomorrow. For the first time ever I am seriously contemplating sending my son to his mom's. She has come a long way and he would have a two parent home there. It has got to be better than being here. My strength is waning more everyday. I mentioned this to her a few days ago and she is very receptive to the idea, probably for the child support I would send more than anything though. I don't want to try and fly any more. I want to cry and bleed like everyone else. I am tired of coming to the rescue. I have seen people take the selfish road and come out the better for it. Sometimes I get tired of always doing the right thing and making the sacrifices, I'm tired of it being expected of me, and I'm tired of being taken advantage of.

There is a line in the song that has a special meaning for me too. I'm a Navy brat. Asking me where I am from is one of the harder questions for me to answer. "Find a way to lie, about a home I'll never see."

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

I hope you dance...

Not really an invitation to go clubbing...but I'm up for it...not what I'm talking about though. Not line dancing either...6'2" and clumsy, line dancing can too quickly turn into "domino dancing". I have met a number of people lately that remind me of the song "I hope you dance" by Lee Ann Womack. I'm not really a country music fan, but the song strikes a chord in me. It is about getting out and enjoying life and not being too afraid or thinking too much of yourself to do it. I sometimes have a hard time with both. It is also very hard not to be bitter after losing what I thought was a love bound for eternity, but that is a battle I fight daily too and too often lose.

A couple of suggestions for getting out and doing things if you have no idea where to start are Meetin and Meetup. These are not singles groups, but groups of adults that are active doing a large variety of activities, and they are all fun. You may be surprised at what there is to do near you, and even more surprised at who is doing it! :-)

But sometimes, even if you have to go by yourself, the trip and the views are totally worth it.



I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give fate the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)