Saturday, April 26, 2008


Friday of last week my son was asked to leave his daycare and not come back. It couldn't have happened at a worse time. I had a major event happening at work that I NEEDED to be there for. Fortunately the people I work with really stepped up and I was able to work abbreviated hours and work from home. I took Friday off to get work done on my vehicles and get my son signed up for daycare at a new place.

I cannot express how disheartening it is when you do a search for daycare in your area for the school your child will go to, and your OWN blog shows up third on the list.

With everything happening with my son and work over the past few weeks I have been dying for some help, or at least some camaraderie. The problem is that neither the schools nor the physicians can tell you what other parents are having similar issues. Part of the reason I started this blog in the first place was to see if other parents had similar problems with their children. Since no one could recommend a group I was about to create my own. I went to and started searching for local groups of parents with special needs children. I almost gave up and was going to start one when I found a local Asperger's support team group. I joined. I went to my first meeting with them this morning (Saturday morning). I have been searching for so long to have other local people to talk about IEPs, 504s, administrators, doctors, etc. I have been searching for other parents with children like mine, people that have seen what I see in my son and don't look at me like I'm crazy person when I tell them what he does, people that can even explain WHY my son does some of what he does. So I sat in Panera Bread and listened to eight other parents talk about their problems with their children, and I thought they all were describing my son. The tantrums, the idiosyncrasies, the noises, everything. We talked for two hours about the kids, sharing ideas about how to deal with certain problems for Asperger's and for ADHD. We talked about how to deal with school systems and doctors, especially military. I'm not military, but most of the parents are....and I grew up with it so I can relate.

It was so nice to share with parents that understand.

So I have a lot of work to do over the next few weeks with my son, his doctors, and the school system.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Assumptions about single parents....

The article below highlights one of the biggest reasons why you should not listen to the religious right when it comes to families.

"The study documents for the first time that divorce and unwed childbearing -- besides being bad for children -- are costing taxpayers a ton of money," said David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values.

"Scafidi's calculations were based on the assumption that households headed by a single female have relatively high poverty rates, leading to higher spending on welfare, health care, criminal justice and education for those raised in the disadvantaged homes. The $112 billion estimate includes the cost of federal, state and local government programs, and lost tax revenue at all levels of government."

I think that if you look at the tax brackets of single, head of household filers with at least one dependent then you do not have to make any ASSUMPTIONS.  This data should be available at the Census bureau so that assumptions don't have to be made.

I was a very big proponent of Focus on the Family and the religious right for a long time, but they are making statements and attempting to exercise power and judgment on people and situations that they do not understand.  Instead of spending time and money on a study, Jesus would have lent two working hands.  Many religious groups will not allow women into leadership roles, many will not allow men that have been divorced into leadership roles.

The article discusses how divorce is harmful to children, but what about dysfunctional and abusive marriages?

Having done my taxes as a single parent for the last six years I can tell you that single parents are already taxed at a higher rate than married couples, why penalize them more or force them into relationships that will probably end in more divorces and even more warped children?  Aren't there better solutions?  Maybe if more churches spent more time working in the communities they are in then they could have a more positive impact on the families that are splintering apart.  Maybe if more churches worked on getting irresponsible families out of debt then fewer families would be split and fewer Government resources would be needed to bail them out.  Maybe if more churches spent less time telling people how to live their lives and more time working with people and helping through the crisis they are in, then the Government could save a lot more than $112 Billion.

GRRRRRRR.  Now is the time to really bust the molds and the barriers come up with TRULY unique solutions and ideas.

"Until you forget what you think you know and what you think is possible, you will never know what is truly attainable."