Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Feeling better...

Hopefully it lasts....for my son and I both.

Half dose of the stimulant (25mg) seemed to curb the impulsiveness and he didn't have the side effects he has been telling me about. He had a good piano lesson too. During piano I went to the Y and busted out a solid 30 min cardio routine. But what really made the difference in me was when a good friend emailed me today to remind of the 50% off everything special they have in the restaurant she manages ON THE BOARDWALK. Hey, it was almost 80 degrees here today, so we went in t-shirts, shorts, and sandals! :-)

When we walked in it was like Cheers. Several friends were there so after handshakes and hugs my son and I sat down ordered and talked away. Beer helped too. Nice to be wanted. Nice to have some other adults entertain my son for a little while. He kind of challenged them to a math game and they were hooked in. I just let out a long slow sigh of relief...then took another drink of my beer. It was nice to get caught up on what everyone was doing. The food was delicious, and I ate too much. My son danced and entertained. Not on any tables or the bar mind you. I guess it is Fat Tuesday, so the group was going to a bar down the road. We left to come home. I guess my son had a great time because he gave me a huge hug and said "I love you Dad."

So a little time, a chance to unwind and vent, and some time with some friends is all I needed.

Now if I could do that everyday....and I'm going to need it too. I found out today that I'm being pulled to cover a position on another part of the contract, one that is in another city. They also want me to keep up some things that I do where I am. It will mean overtime, but overtime just means more work and less time to myself. It should work out, but not really what I was looking for. It isn't what I came here to do. Maybe it will pay for a cruise this summer, or a trip I would love to take with my son to California. One day at a time, always, one day at a time.

Monday, February 04, 2008

On Monday....

I first get a note from son's teacher that he missed his field trip today while we were at his doctor's appointments. One appointment was his normal neuro-feedback, the other was to talk about what happened Friday. Later I get a note from his teacher that his behavior in the afternoon was way off norm, rolling in the floor laughing and he ate a kleenex. Now, he wasn't on the stimulant today, but he's going back on tomorrow, just half the dose. I show up at the YMCA to workout and every couple of minutes a YMCA after school worker would show up to tell me that Mr. Glen, the Supervisor, needs to talk to me when I'm done. He had a full page, handwritten report about my son from that afternoon. We talked and I explained what happened. He understood, but he can't go back to the YMCA tomorrow. He then tried to be very helpful and asked if there was anything he could do. I very quickly responded, "Actually, you could adopt an adorable, cute and cuddly ten year old." He said no. :-|

Well, at least I got my workout in. That is a start. I took it easy since it has been a few weeks, but I'm going to ramp it up quickly.

And work continues to not be enjoyable. I really hope that changes soon. My job is to keep these folks off of CNN, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to do that. I don't think they believe me, but then again no one ever does until it happens.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

In Between Dreams

What do you find in between dreams?
What fills the void between night and night?
Every day life, or so it would seem,
When the crack of dawn floods all with light.
What do you find in between dreams?
Do you get all for which you have fought?
So many are seeking, as it seems,
Many or most do not find what they sought.
What did you find in between your dreams?
Was it love, truth, sacrifice, integrity?
For nary a one are what they seem,
Disillusionment, trickery are in between,
and we call it Reality.

I'm not in a good mood if you couldn't tell. Really, I'm taking some pains to make sure you know.

Friday I got a call from my son's daycare and the school nurse, very concerned about my son. He was uncontrollably shaking his head as if getting the hair out of his eyes. He could not stop. Most likely this was happening because of one of the medicines he is on. A decision that I made to put him on. And now, the kids are scared of him/for him because his head snaps to the side every other second or so. He has been very oppositional lately to boot so our time at home isn't usually all that pleasant. So I'm calling doctors, trying not to panic, telling my employer that I have to leave because of my son, again, and trying to get to the school without getting a ticket. The school called me back when I was halfway there and said it looked like it had all but stopped and that he wanted to go back to class. I said that was fine, and that I was still waiting on a response from the doctor. I went home, worked from home, and waited. The doctors said it was probably the stimulant and stress that was causing the issue and that we should take him off the stimulant for the weekend, so we did. He seems to be doing better.

He was supposed to go to his grandparents for the weekend. He still did, but there were some obvious reservations. The last time he went there he threw a temper tantrum that essentially caused his grandfather to have a heart attack. It has been almost a year and it would mark the first time that they have kept him without a parent staying over. I told them that if he started giving them any problems or showed more severe symptoms that they should call a hospital immediately. Call me second as there is no way I'm going to be able to get there in a timely fashion.

I developed a cold late Friday night an not a single plan seemed to really work out this weekend.

So I'm in a foul mood, grumpy, etc.

During the Super Bowl halftime, I was at home, my son in bed, and I was at my kitchen table sewing the seams of the crotch in two of my son's pants back together, fighting a fever, and wondering when I last had a tetanus shot because I was mauling my fingers. I missed most of the third and fourth quarters, but it isn't a big deal as I'm not a big Super Bowl or even football fan.

So in between dreams this weekend I found myself sick, working, etc, and generally wondering what the hell I'm doing and where they hell I think I'm going to end up.

I, am, definitely, exactly, not, happy, at, this, moment,.

Why the extra commas? Just to make it more aggravating to read. No worries though, It'll be right before long. On to happier things.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

A surprise on Tuesday morning....

I was trying to encourage my son early Tuesday morning. Trying to get him dressed and ready to go. I looked to the east, out the window, through the bare branched trees to find the sky doing it's conversion to blue from black. The clouds were a strong pinkish orange. I told my son to come and look at the sky. I said if we hurry, we get to see a great sunrise.

On the way out of the driveway I said "Red skies at night, sailor's delight, red skies at morn, sailors be warned." My son asked what it meant. I just told him it was a rule of thumb about the weather. Red skies at night usually means good weather for sailing, red skies in the morning means it could be bad weather.

On the way to daycare he said, "There's a RAINBOW!!" And there was. A bold one to be sure, just after sunrise. A full arch. Here is a picture...from the cell phone....

....And then it rained. :-)

3 A's 2 B's all S's and O's. Brandon is doing marvelously well. More about some of the more recent issues later though.