Saturday, April 26, 2008


Friday of last week my son was asked to leave his daycare and not come back. It couldn't have happened at a worse time. I had a major event happening at work that I NEEDED to be there for. Fortunately the people I work with really stepped up and I was able to work abbreviated hours and work from home. I took Friday off to get work done on my vehicles and get my son signed up for daycare at a new place.

I cannot express how disheartening it is when you do a search for daycare in your area for the school your child will go to, and your OWN blog shows up third on the list.

With everything happening with my son and work over the past few weeks I have been dying for some help, or at least some camaraderie. The problem is that neither the schools nor the physicians can tell you what other parents are having similar issues. Part of the reason I started this blog in the first place was to see if other parents had similar problems with their children. Since no one could recommend a group I was about to create my own. I went to and started searching for local groups of parents with special needs children. I almost gave up and was going to start one when I found a local Asperger's support team group. I joined. I went to my first meeting with them this morning (Saturday morning). I have been searching for so long to have other local people to talk about IEPs, 504s, administrators, doctors, etc. I have been searching for other parents with children like mine, people that have seen what I see in my son and don't look at me like I'm crazy person when I tell them what he does, people that can even explain WHY my son does some of what he does. So I sat in Panera Bread and listened to eight other parents talk about their problems with their children, and I thought they all were describing my son. The tantrums, the idiosyncrasies, the noises, everything. We talked for two hours about the kids, sharing ideas about how to deal with certain problems for Asperger's and for ADHD. We talked about how to deal with school systems and doctors, especially military. I'm not military, but most of the parents are....and I grew up with it so I can relate.

It was so nice to share with parents that understand.

So I have a lot of work to do over the next few weeks with my son, his doctors, and the school system.


  1. Sorry to hear about the day care. Wonderful that you have finally found some support. It's nice to not feel like you are alone.

    btw, nice header photo.

  2. Wow. That has got to be tough. I don't know how old your son is - but is there an early intervention program? One that could hook you up with social workers to help you negotiate your way all through this?

  3. Steve,
    For a long time I have felt like I was alone in this. Now I don't and I really can't describe how good that feels.

    I learned a slew of new acronyms Saturday morning. I also have several friends that are social workers or special ed teachers that give me help from time to time. What I really need to focus on right now is an assessment to see if my 10 year old is within the Autism spectrum. My observations tell me that he is. Once I have a doctor confirm that, then I can better define his support from school and social services. FAPT (Family Assissment Planning Team) is a new area for me to explore for help that I learned about yesterday. My goal is to have a better diagnosis and thorough services defined for my son's entrance into sixth grade next year. I may need some intervention from school sooner because he is really on a downward spiral right now. Understanding what is really going on and getting help will be key to turning that around.

  4. Bravo to you for reaching out and finding other parents. You're such an amazing advocate for your son. Really.

    Please let us know what happens next. I have no doubt you'll find a great, supportive place for him to make new friends.

  5. Jerks. He's better off to not be there...really. Good luck - you'll find a new one. And I am SOOO excited that you've found people to connect with. It really makes all the difference in the world.

  6. SMS,
    I will definitely keep the updates coming.

    The reality with most day care is that they are not really geared for special needs children. Hopefully the new one works out. Today was the first day and no bad reports! The asperger's group is very active and it has been such a huge relief to connect with parents that have children like my son. I had been thinking that I was the only one for so long.

  7. Group? There's a group? Where was this group four years ago when I jumped head-long into the adoption of an 11 year-old with ADHD? I'm glad you found them, and that the group is helpful. Some days I feel like we're almost out of the woods. Other days I feel like we're still lost in them.

    Fortunately, the new therapist is awesome, and things are going relatively well these days (outside of normal teen angst).

  8. I'm new to your space here but thought I would offer a bit of my own experience. My middle son, Trevor, has Asperger's Syndrome. He was kicked out of 2 different daycares/preschools before finally finding one that helped him and fit him. He's going to be turning 11 on Sunday and we're finally settling into some sense of rhythm. It takes time and a lot of trial and error (and more than a few tears!)
    If you need an ear, someone who's been there, my email is nixtressAThotmailDOTcom.


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