Saturday, February 24, 2007


I wish I had the time to do all that I wished.

I would be fluent in several languages, including Chinese and Japanese.

I would be an accomplished Author, or have at least made one hell of an effort at it.

I would have several degrees, undergrad through doctorate.

I would spend gluttonous amounts of time with my son and family.

I would continuously keep up with and do things with my friends.

I would have traveled the globe.

I would be proficient in any instrument, or several of them.

I would....

A different kind of phone call

Odd title for a post I know. How could you possibly know the anxiety I have every time the phone rings when my son is not around. There is normal variety of anxiety that every parent has about something terrible happening to their children. I have to bear that and the anxiety that the phone call is going to be about something my son has done to himself or others. His choices in the past have not been stellar.

This week I received a phone call from our Assistant Principal. Brandon was in the office. My heart plummeted as though pulled infinitesimally deeper and faster into the blackhole it is already in. What did he manage to do now?

Well, it seems I'm a bit more pessimistic that I ought to be. That is not likely to change soon, but at least there was a little more reassurance on the other end. Brandon was choked by another student. He was not seriously hurt the Assistant Principal assured me, and had been checked out by the nurse. I was still waiting for the explanation, wondering if my son was to be suspended or punished. The Principal said he was in PE and collided with another student. That student had an anger moment and grabbed Brandon by the neck. It was an accident, and Brandon was not at fault. Honestly, my mind is a bit befuddled because Brandon is almost always to blame in some way. She was very apologetic about the incident and wanted me to know that they would be speaking with the other student's parents.

My son and I had just had a talk the night before about people whose anger sometimes leads them to do dumb things. A person had rocketed out of a parking space, and recklessly took off in the parking lot. My son was a bit shocked, and voiced that concern. I told him we always need to be on the lookout for people that probably aren't thinking all that well and possibly emotionally charged. We just don't know what they may do or how they will react. I was thinking more in terms of driving day to day, but he got a little taste of that in school.

Later that evening when I picked up Brandon from daycare, he explained to me that he pleaded with the principal on the student's behalf not to suspend that student. He also told me he taught the student and the Principal the 'I' statement. He and I both learned this last year in his counseling. It goes like this:
"I feel (hurt, angry, upset, etc) when you do (action). It would help me if you would (alternative action) instead."

Emotions are very powerful forces in our lives. How often can we create an 'I' statement in the midst of the most powerful ones? I don't know. I have a hard time doing it. So do most other people I know. It is so important to feel, and the 'I' statement can let others know HOW and WHAT you feel and what they can do to help. They honestly may not be able to tell any other way. Expressions, body language, and tones may not be enough to clue others in, so help them help you. See if you can pinpoint WHAT it is that you really feel and let people know.

~~ :-) ~~

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Thunderhead, Thor, and Lone Star At Brighton ski resort today....

I begin to squat on my way down, the quads contract, the calves tense, the gluts are holding me steady as I lower my center of gravity and begin the assault on the runs. My legs engage like shock absorbers as board begins to wildly go up and down over the bumps. The adrenaline is beginning to course through my body and my focus narrows to what is right in front of me. The shadows make depth perception difficult and anticipation seemingly impossible. A quick adjustment to right to avoid the tree takes me up a small embankment that I lean away from and let gravity and centrifugal forces take their natural course. All is well as long and the board and the snow agree on the outcome, and they do. Conditions are fantastic. More up and down, swing left, mental and physical gymnastics fire off as a steep decline ends in a steep incline, almost like a 'V' and not quite as gradual as a 'U', but the traverse is pulled off flawlessly, I'm airborne, a board grab, and I land, with a few seconds to look up and pick the route, Thunderhead, Thor, or Lone Star...and the easy part is now over.

Ok Thor, let's see the hammer.

I make the turn and briefly wonder if I made the wrong choice. I see chaos. Chaos like a frothy sea in battle with a storm, only God spoke and said "freeze", painted it white, and placed it on the side of a mountain. There are mounds of snow everywhere, some boulders, some trees, it is narrow, and trees line both sides. There are small tree trunks poking up from the snow in places, and uncovered rocks here and there. I stop and try to pick a path. It is mildly steep and I cannot really see past the first set of mounds. Shadows are lurking about, hiding secrets that might save me or hurt me.

My feet are strapped tightly to the board. I am really one with it. My mind thinks a thought, my nerves carry the message, muscles all over my body instantly respond, and the board is just an extension of my body.

I turn downhill. The board, newly freed from the bonds of cutting into the snow, slides over the snow with a building whoosh. I pick a point and the board moves to the right, cutting in the edge and changes the whoosh to a kind of slice and scrape. I get my first view of the rest of the slope, but I don't have time to process. Bank left, slide, bank right, hop, left again, over a couple of bumps, bank hard right leaning deep to keep from launching into a tree like a lost kite. Another jump, a mid-air shift, and cut hard left, right, left, ri-left-hop-deep right. Up and over, twisting, sliding, leaning, jumping, grabbing, turning, slowing, accelerating, flying. A flat spot with a jump, take it, launch, airborne, grab the board, gliding down, re-connect with the snow, sharp right to stop and look back.

Things happen so quickly that you don't have time to look or process, you only have the beginning and the end. The middle is a vertigo blur where you realize you only have fractions of a second to make the decisions that get you through.

I am sweating, the quads and calves are burning. My heart is pounding. My mind is soaring out over the 10,000' mountains, and into the deep blue sky. I am laughing and I only just realized it.

The Mind of God....

Ok, a few crazy thoughts from fitful sleep, aching snowboarding body, and images of the raw Rocky Mountains.

It has been said that to see God, or see the mind of God, would be instant death for us mortals. Probably not so much a physical death, but a death of our minds, which has the immediate impact of killing our bodies. To see into the mind of God would be deadly I think. First there is the impact of pure perfection. Second there is the impact of infinity. Third there is the impact of how God sees us, and our place in the universe, or multiple universes. Any one of these would be enough to wipe us out. As humans, emissaries for God in this Universe, we do not do such a good job. We believe we are important, we are selfish and selfishly motivated, always looking to improve our lot in life. We do this in many ways. Some of us nurture our careers, some of us nurture our adventures, some of us nurture our bodies and bodily needs, some of us nurture our minds, but rarely do we truly nurture each other. Our civilization has permanently, outwardly, and inwardly changed the face and future of this planet. Precious life all over, under, and throughout our world is threatened. All in the name of our supreme selfishness. We even kill each other in OUR selfish devotion to OUR economic system or religion. When the two come in contact, it is like a wound that never stops bleeding. Each of us wields amazing power to do for others, yet we rarely do. The reason peering into the mind of God would kill us, is because we would see ourselves as the Source sees us, our potential compared to our acts, so the Source remains hidden from us. It is not our sacrifices to ourselves that really matter, it is our sacrifices to each other and life in general that can really make a difference. Perform a miracle for someone today. Lend a hand with no conditions attached. Show compassion with no reservations. Plant a tree. Let someone over into your lane. Slow down a little bit. Do something for someone else, or do something for the grass, the trees, the birds, and the millions of other forms of life just outside your front door.

I know, it's all crazy stuff...

Friday, February 02, 2007

Report Card Time......

And Brandon has done terrific.
2 A+'s
2 A's
1 B
2 B-'s
3 Outstandings
1 S
2 S-'s

He has perfect attendance, and his math teacher said, "you ROCK with your multiplication and division facts!!"

Thank you everyone that has helped us along the way. This is the best Brandon has ever performed in school and it is due to all of the family, friends, and professionals that have helped us over the past couple of years.