Everyday SGG and I wake up, make some coffee (Cafe Verona unless she has found a better "deal" which never tastes as good), and then sit in these two chairs. We hold hands, drink coffee, watch the sun come up and the world come to life. The boys aren't up, but the animals have been fed. The dog runs around the yard, patrolling for intruders and that the cat sits on the sills squeaking at the birds. We sit here and we talk about our day coming up, our week, our future. On Sundays, SGG scours the paper for coupons and we talk about what we are going to eat that week too. Every day we have 30 minutes to an hour to ourselves to talk about anything and everything. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Some life decisions that have been made lately...
We made the decision to take a job in Richmond in April and move there, but after four weeks of working there I ran into unresolvable issues and decided to quit that job and not move. So we are still in Virginia Beach. I took a job working for a Navy command that does vulnerability assessment testing for all new Navy programs (with my previous employer) and I believe that is going to work out very well. The only real problem has been that we had to get caught up on testing and that put my co-worker and I on the road in California and Hawaii for a month. More about that in the next post (coming soon I swear).
With the job transition and transition back, we made some other rather big decisions. My son did ok in our public school here for his first year in High School. He didn't do great though, and he certainly didn't take full advantage of the opportunities he had. The school has over 2000 students in it and can be a bit daunting. During the decision to move to Richmond, a new place for all of us and a move to a new school with 2000+ students, we had to make a decision about my son's future. His mom really wanted him to come down and live with her and her husband. His mom works at a private school and he would go to school there. He has a large network of friends down there already because he spends the summers there. The teachers aren't as connected to the parents in the public high schools, but with his mom, the teachers work with her at the school. I talked to the school and went through their curriculum. My new job also involves some travel for the first time, which Brandon never responds well to. The end result is that SGG and I believe that Brandon moving down to be with his mom and in a smaller school would be best for Brandon and his future. So far that looks like the right decision, but it is still very early. He has a lot of good friends and had a great summer. He has already started school there and had a great first week. He is also playing on the school's soccer team. Helping him get his stuff together to move to his mom's was very difficult and very emotional. Much more so than I was anticipating.
Earlier in the year, Christmas/New Years to be exact, SGG and her ex-husband made the decision to have the middle child (her eldest) move to NYC to be with his dad. There were a number of factors going into the decision that I won't go into, but he seems to be doing well up there. He is also 6'4" tall, still growing, and not quite 14.
That means that starting the school year here, Labor Day basically in VA, we only have one child with us. It is certainly going to be a different year.
Fortunately, the other two boys are not all that far away. I also spend a LOT of time on Google+ now and the Hangout feature there is great for video conferencing with the boys...when I can get them to use it. :-)
We have also been replacing the carpet in the house with laminate hardwood type flooring. I got two bedrooms and a hallway done before I had to leave for the month for work.
San Diego Skyline on my last night in California
Pt Mugu - 8 hrs of driving for a 1 hour meeting....
Six days in Hawaii and we only got about 6 hrs to explore the island....this is from the Pali Pass...
I applaud you GREATLY for making decisions that are for the best for YOUR kids... not for you. We only live 5 miles from my husband's ex, but it's a different school cluster. She won't let her boys go to the schools in our cluster (though they could with no issue because we live her) and we even offered to come and get them every morning. Our youngest son is in the gifted program at his school - which translates to 1 hours of gifted instruction a week. My daughter, who goes to our cluster schools, is also gifted, which translates to 2 hours of gifted instruction EVERY DAY. Both our boys go to HORRIBLE schools, but she won't let them go to our schools because it would be "too inconvenient" for her.
ReplyDeleteBeth,
ReplyDeleteI know I had to work really hard during my divorce to make sure that my son's mom didn't try to use him to hurt me. I gave up a lot during that time, even though I had sole custody, to make sure that he would always have good memories of his mom. Fortunately, I think she realized that. I know that isn't always the case. In the past 11 years, we have always tried to keep our issues out of his life and focus on what is best for his future. I am very thankful for that at least. I really hope your situation can improve with time, for the sake of the children...