Sunday, February 03, 2008

In Between Dreams

What do you find in between dreams?
What fills the void between night and night?
Every day life, or so it would seem,
When the crack of dawn floods all with light.
What do you find in between dreams?
Do you get all for which you have fought?
So many are seeking, as it seems,
Many or most do not find what they sought.
What did you find in between your dreams?
Was it love, truth, sacrifice, integrity?
For nary a one are what they seem,
Disillusionment, trickery are in between,
and we call it Reality.

I'm not in a good mood if you couldn't tell. Really, I'm taking some pains to make sure you know.

Friday I got a call from my son's daycare and the school nurse, very concerned about my son. He was uncontrollably shaking his head as if getting the hair out of his eyes. He could not stop. Most likely this was happening because of one of the medicines he is on. A decision that I made to put him on. And now, the kids are scared of him/for him because his head snaps to the side every other second or so. He has been very oppositional lately to boot so our time at home isn't usually all that pleasant. So I'm calling doctors, trying not to panic, telling my employer that I have to leave because of my son, again, and trying to get to the school without getting a ticket. The school called me back when I was halfway there and said it looked like it had all but stopped and that he wanted to go back to class. I said that was fine, and that I was still waiting on a response from the doctor. I went home, worked from home, and waited. The doctors said it was probably the stimulant and stress that was causing the issue and that we should take him off the stimulant for the weekend, so we did. He seems to be doing better.

He was supposed to go to his grandparents for the weekend. He still did, but there were some obvious reservations. The last time he went there he threw a temper tantrum that essentially caused his grandfather to have a heart attack. It has been almost a year and it would mark the first time that they have kept him without a parent staying over. I told them that if he started giving them any problems or showed more severe symptoms that they should call a hospital immediately. Call me second as there is no way I'm going to be able to get there in a timely fashion.

I developed a cold late Friday night an not a single plan seemed to really work out this weekend.

So I'm in a foul mood, grumpy, etc.

During the Super Bowl halftime, I was at home, my son in bed, and I was at my kitchen table sewing the seams of the crotch in two of my son's pants back together, fighting a fever, and wondering when I last had a tetanus shot because I was mauling my fingers. I missed most of the third and fourth quarters, but it isn't a big deal as I'm not a big Super Bowl or even football fan.

So in between dreams this weekend I found myself sick, working, etc, and generally wondering what the hell I'm doing and where they hell I think I'm going to end up.

I, am, definitely, exactly, not, happy, at, this, moment,.

Why the extra commas? Just to make it more aggravating to read. No worries though, It'll be right before long. On to happier things.


  1. You have have some stress to deal with. I hope things level out a bit this coming week for you all.

    (thanks for our email!)

  2. Sorry your weekend sucked. Mine did too. It's terrible when everything hits at once. Plus getting sick just increases the tension on everything.

  3. Wait, did your son go to his grandparents? It sounds like he stayed at home... Wow, that image of you sewing is a poignant one.

    Hope your fingers are okay -- and that you get to take some time off work to rest.

    Lots of liquids, okay?

    Your son really is blessed to have you.

  4. What a crummy weekend. It must be heartbreaking not knowing how to help your son. Not knowing the perfect solution and relying on trial and error. I hope the start of this week will be better than the end of last...

    Orange Juice, lots and lots....

  5. FADKOG,
    Yes, the stress has been building for a while. I have to make some choices about how I'm going to relieve it. Honestly, it isn't really all that bad, it just hit home this weekend.

    Everyone I know that is in a Master's program reacts pretty much the same. I really feel for you, but it will definitely be worth the effort. Before we know it things will be back to normal.

    Yes, he did go to his grandparents. My fingers are fine and are used to being pincushions. Seems like I cut myself all the time...which is why I have a self-imposed moratorium on using knives. I'm feeling better today, but I'm on my way to work out. I haven't in a month and a half and it has been too long. That is part of my problem. It will all be better before long, just a momentary lapse.

    Well the start of the week hasn't gotten off any better, but more about that later...time to take care of me for a bit. :-)

  6. I sure hope this finds you feeling better.


I will not accept advertising in the body of comments. If you leave links to spam, goods, or services it will be deleted. If you embed HTML it will be deleted. For any number of other reasons I may delete the comment. I do this for the safety and well being of the readers of the blog.