Sunday, May 18, 2008

It's 3am I must be lonely....

I wonder if I'm manic depressive right now. During the week my work leaves me completely mentally exhausted. When I get home in the evenings I know I will feel better if I just get out to the gym or do something. But mostly I just want to crash. During the weekends it seems like I try to make up for it.

Friday after work I came home, napped for a little bit, picked up my son and a Monster energy drink, and thoroughly cleaned the house. I had a baby sitter lined up for my son because I had two softball games starting at 8:45pm. We had two great games which really gets the adrenaline pumping. I hit a home run that nearly landed in the infield of the field behind us. I think I got to sleep around 2am or so. I was up again at 6am...I had coffee and breakfast with the Asperger's support group and that is always helpful and always amazing.

Brandon and I cleaned up the yard from the storms we had this week and mowed the grass. We found another dead squirrel. This one had just died, I surmised, because it hadn't gone into rigor. I think it got attacked either by a cat or the dogs next door and managed to get away under the fence and under our bush.

At 2:30 Brandon and I headed out for my soccer game. I play on a coed adult team on a U-13 field (I think). We warmed up and kicked the ball around for a while until everyone else showed up. We didn't have a keeper so I volunteered. That was fun. I hadn't played goalie since 1980. We have a great defense, thank God. We only had one goal scored against one of my team mates. :-) The game after us was short several players, so I volunteered to play that game defense. At 6'2", I am by far the biggest person out there. Both teams told me I'm like a moving wall. While there is a lot of jostling and things going on around the field, no one runs into me, and if they want to get a ball past me, they have to go to the sidelines. I really feel it in my knees later though. Motrin helps with that. As tired as I was, I totally shutdown at 10pm but was up again at 3am. It's just about 4:30 so I'm going to try and get back to sleep for a while.

I'm going to try and take it easy and slow Sunday. Try.


  1. I don't sleep well most nights. This has been my story for most of my life, but now I think it is more the stress and all the responsibility. it either weighs me down and leaves me exhausted or, well, I wake up with my mind unable to relax for long periods of time.

    Thankfully there are... books!

  2. It's now Sunday...if you're not sleeping, I hope you are at least semi-sedentary at the moment! I must stop being so, though, for the day's calendar is packed, but thankfully, minus the soccer!

  3. I've always had this misconception that strong, very active guys... sleep like rocks. I guess not. You're as sensitive as the rest of us.

    I'm also one who wakes up in the middle of the night, my head racing. Depends on stress, for sure. Like The Exception, books save me.

    Hope your day is relaxed!

  4. Exception and SMS,
    Sometimes I turn to books, sometimes to the web, but lately I turn to southpark. It is funny, gets my mind off of the things that are causing me to stay up (ie the books I read are on relationships, network security, and my son...all of which are why I wake up in the middle of the night in the first place), and I have several more seasons to catch up on as I've never watched the show before. I think this had just given me an idea for a post.

    I drive myself right up to the point of absolute collapse, so initially falling asleep happens in less than 30 seconds most nights. It is the staying asleep that is the big problem. :-)

    I hope you get everything in and enjoy your day! DDR on the agenda? I did sleep again until 7am. Went grocery shopping, fixed breakfast for my son and I, and we enjoyed an engaging game of chess while we ate. A neighbor came over for coffee, and since I've cleaned up the backyard we had it out there and just enjoyed being outside on an exceptional morning. So today is a stay at home and enjoy whatever comes my way day.

  5. Mike: As stupid as it sounds, it appears that you might be on the right track. I used to try to watch TV shows I enjoyed at bedtime (that's when I'd watch, once the kid was tucked in), only to find that I'd keep finding more and more to watch. News channels kept me interested, even if they showed the same stories every thirty minutes. I love the weather channel, so can't watch it, either.

    I decided that Nick at Nite or TV Land was the answer. The sitcoms aren't important, and I'm okay with turning my back on them. The voices are familiar, so I don't have to be LOOKING at the TV any longer than it takes to tire my eyes out.

    My sister suggests watching a home shopping network, which I did try one night when I found myself "interested" in the sitcoms. Make sure they're selling something you totally have no interest in, and you'll drift right off.

    Or you'll buy a pressure washer.

  6. I was there and I'd clean as well (that has to be a military thing), I'd lay down and the mind would race...TV would just keep distract for awhile...Then I read a book that changed my perspective. "You Can Be Happy No Matter What - Five principles for keeping life in perspective" - I know I sound like a self help advertisement (and I know you love those); however it allowed me gain some perspective and control those thoughts. It took me a few months to retrain...but it worked and all because Barnes and Noble put the self help section next to the restrooms.


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