Sunday, February 15, 2009

Life, the Universe, and Everything...

or The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

I was going to write this Saturday. I was home sick (feels like Bronchitis). I was sitting on my couch with tea and a monster container of the most delicious chicken noodle soup I have ever had. I had just taken a smidgen of nyquil. My girlfriend had just picked up my son to take him skating for the afternoon and she was the one that brought me the nyquil, the soup, and a few other cold remedies (Thank you Chris!!).

I could either write some things in my blog that I had been wanting to write for a while, or I could watch "A Threevening with Kevin Smith". I chose the latter. I was saving Zack and Miri for Chris and I to watch together. Needless to say, Kevin Smith doesn't have any material that is really appropriate for children.

Brandon's school year got off to a very rough start. He wasn't on any medication and he didn't want to be. Middle school is a huge change. 30+ kids in each class, changing classes and teachers every hour. I expected big problems and I wasn't disappointed there. Mostly there was just a lot of inappropriate behavior and he wasn't turning in work. I had several meetings with the teachers from September through October. By the end of October he was failing two classes and doing just marginally better in the others. The teachers were frustrated and I was angry. They wanted to take him out of the AVID program and they said he would have to go back to leave the out of district school he was in.

We were working with the counselor every week. He was doing homework, but not really his classwork. He couldn't go on field trips unless I was there. They couldn't get the class part worked out, and because each teacher only had him for an hour they didn't know what to do.

I started him back on Vyvanse at the beginning of November. It is an ADHD medication. What Brandon says is "Dad, when I'm not taking Vyvanse it is like I can't tune anything out. I can't ignore anything. When I am, I can ignore the sounds and other things going on in the class." The teachers have been frankly amazed at the difference. The last report card just a few weeks ago he had all B's and one C. I'm pretty sure he'll have an A in his Advanced English by the end of the year, and probably an A in Advanced Math. His teachers have said the kids aren't shunning him anymore and he is making some real friends. I have been trying to get him out during the afternoons and the weekends to get into some sunshine, etc. We've been doing a lot of geocaches lately, exploring some cool trails, and talking about doing some camping in the spring. We have also been bringing some of the neighbors out on our adventures.

Brandon expressed an interest in going to a dance last week at school. He said he wanted to ask a girl to go. Hmmmm. It is the first time he has said anything about having an interest in a girl. So we talked about it. I gave him what very little advice I have about talking to girls and going to dances. I told him most people are nervous about asking someone out, and usually the person being asked can be just as nervous about answering. I said it gets easier the more you do it, so never miss an opportunity to do so. I told him that girls like it when you show an interest in them and when you are talking them you should ask them questions about their likes, dislikes, things they do, etc. When you are at a dance, girls like to dance and you should ALWAYS dance with them, whether you know how or not. It is all about having fun.

So what else has been going on? I've been dating some and now one person exclusively. Mostly I was trying to get out and meet people. You could call it "Coffee Encounters of the Third Kind". It really wasn't bad, I met some great people, and so far it has a really happy ending. On December 7th, I wrote this in my blog. Four hours later that woman wrote to me on Match. I didn't know it at the time though. We met a Panera Bread one afternoon just to talk. She said she wasn't really looking for a relationship, just looking to be friends and get out to do things like hiking, biking, etc. She didn't really want to do coffee or dinner, but suggested maybe do a hike or bike or something. There was a trail that was new to me that I wanted to bike on so I suggested maybe we do that sometime and we set that up. That story is here. Still just going out to do things as FRIENDS. She said she wanted to take things SLOW. Because of issues with Brandon, and work (more on work in a bit) I'm totally fine with that. However, things did progress a bit more rapidly than we expected or wanted. Friends quickly changed into exclusively dating, etc.

So for Valentine's Day, I am sick. The restaurant I wanted go to for dinner, my favorite in the area, is closed due to economic conditions. GRRRR. Others are booked, etc, but I found one that I really like and is accommodating. We were planning on sharing a babysitter as she has two children one and two years younger than Brandon. However, I am sick. She came and picked up Brandon to take him skating with a few other kids. They had a great time. I slept and laughed and took cold remedies. Dinner was fantastic. Afterward we just went to back to my empty house and watched Zack and Miri make a Porno, by Kevin Smith. Which is actually quite a fantastic Valentine's Day movie. You'll have to trust me and see it. It is very funny, crass as Kevin Smith normally is, and very well done.

So what has been keeping me from writing? Work. I'm not going to say too much about it, but it has been excruciatingly and increasingly difficult. I find myself having to work more and more from home in the evenings. I am very much aware that they would rather see me in the building until 7pm or later at night. I am not at all happy working for a group that brags about how much overtime they put in during the year. 400+ hours. I cannot do that with my son. It also cuts into the little time I have to myself.

So, the pendulum ever swings, and of the four main areas of my life, two seem to be doing well and one seems to be doing poorly, and one seems about neutral. It is the closest thing to balance I ever get, and I would rather have it this way than the alternatives. Brandon is doing so well right now.

Back to lighter and more fun things....
I got mentioned at Single Mommyhood for Valentine's Day. I want to return that sentiment. I also want to thank both Rachel and Dr. Leah for always being so open and inviting in all of their discussions. It is pretty fantastic to have a forum where topics can be discussed openly, honestly, and truthfully without fear of reprisal and where people seem to be rather open minded. I really enjoy the blogs of everyone on my blog roll and I have several I need to add. I'll get to it very soon.

I hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day and hope you are able to enjoy the weekend!


  1. Well how exciting that you finally dished on Chris! I'm so happy for you!

    Sorry you're sick but it sounds like you're in good hands.

    I guess Brandon's meds are perfect for him. Glad to hear that he's doing better in school on them.

    Hang in there and feel better soon! Don't work TOO much!

  2. I'm finally catching up with you! How are you feeling?

    Wow, how great that you've made a new "friend."

    Your note is so sweet. Thanks.

    I'm linking to you tomorrow a.m. at SMS.... Please take care of yourself.

  3. (i'm obviously just catching up on your blog.)

    "Zack and Miri make a porno" sounds like a perfect valentine's day movie. good for you :)

    and for the record, some girls don't actually want to dance. some girls would prefer to play video games and blow up things. hopefully he will find that girl :)


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