Weekend mornings for me usually mean getting some kind of wakeup greeting from my son. Not entirely unwelcome, but not entirely looked forward to either. Shortly after making it to my feet I'm off to the kitchen. What's for breakfast? Eggs? Bacon? Sausage? Grits? Pancakes? Waffles? Biscuits? I love breakfast. I love making breakfast. Especially for large groups, but since it is just my son and I, I make do cooking for one and a half.
Today it was waffles, sausage, and bacon mixed with an unhealthy portion of log cabin syrup. Orange juice was the beverage of choice.
Afterwards we went to the YMCA for my workout. I'm getting a bit of a cold so I took a short nap while my son played a few games.
We bought a lawnmower today, seeing as I no longer have one to borrow. I did not think that I would be able to mow since it was raining this morning, but it rained for just a short bit and the afternoon dried out nicely. The lawn is now neatly trimmed, and getting the lawnmower from store to operation was actually really simple. We rented a few movies this afternoon too, and bought some snacks to eat with them. I ordered a pizza and we had a great movie time together.
After dinner and the movie we played catch on the freshly mowed ball field (otherwise known as the front yard). Brandon is getting really good. Brandon also joined a few neighbor children in some volleyball. Life is just about back to normal.
I suppose that I could be really angry with Brandon's mom for moving on with her life and sort of leaving Brandon behind. The reality is that it is her loss. My only agitation is that it makes it harder for me to rebuild and move on with mine. The best thing I can do for Brandon is to have a two parent home again. You cannot order those though. There is no Mastercard commercial for finding your significant other. That is, buy this, do this, manage this, and you get the priceless love that you want, for everything else there is Mastercard. It certainly is not Brandon's mom's fault that I have not gotten married again, so I really have no cause to be angry with her. Even if she decided to have more children, that is totally her call. The truth is, if I lament about what she is doing or not doing, I'm really doing Brandon a disservice. I would be missing the opportunities that are in front of me to make Brandon's life and mine better than ever, sort of throwing them away just because of my anger with his mom.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Pancakes for breakfast I am certain. Church for the first time in ages. I'm struggling, desperately struggling, to pull myself back together after the last six months. Ice Cream Sunday afternoon. It is supposed to rain. Meet the Robinsons possibly? Maybe some live music Sunday night. No glamour, nothing sexy, just parenting on a daily basis.
~Mike
Keep up the faith brother! You sound a lot like me about a year ago. You don't really get the sense of reality back, but you do get to experience bigger, better sides of yourself by dealing with the chaos and change. "Keep moving forward".
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