Tuesday, June 12, 2007

stuff in the empty spaces...

I am the apothecary. I have a very large assortment of drugs in my cabinets now. I really have to take time to read them when I need to pull the various ones out for me or for my son. I actually have two sides, one of prescription drugs, and one for over the counter.

How do you teach a child the value of hard work and a job well done? How do you teach them to review their own work and be able to judge when it is done well? I've spent over four hours now going in and out every five minutes telling my son that the leaves that needed to be raked in the backyard are not done, that there is nothing to be frightened of, showing him how to rake under bushes, re-instructing every ten minutes or so, and so on.

What do you do with the pain of the empty space left by the betrayal of someone you put your hopes and dreams into? What do you do with the pain of seeing your child deal with the loss and total abandonment of someone he dared to hope would be his mother and five siblings? What do you do when everything around you reminds you of this person and the colossal failure of the relationship, and the utter uselessness of all of the sacrifices you made for them? Yes, this still haunts me everyday. Especially on days like today where there are outbursts when there weren't the first part of the year, and he had a Family to draw strength and reassurance from. If your family abandons you, what hope can there possibly be? If your brothers and sisters can no longer speak to you or see you, what do you do?

1 comment:

  1. Those are tough things to deal with. Here's praying you get some peace on the missing her thing.


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