Been going through my phone to take off pictures, etc from last night....
1st things on the phone from March this year:
Deleted the pictures, but it is kind of like this...You just fell off a waterfall and crashed onto the rocks. Hard. Painful. Lost your partner and you feel like there is no hope. Then, she shows up, happy, hopeful. You try to patch your boat together and you get back on the water. The river picks up speed quickly, she jumps off and you go over the another waterfall, crash on the rocks. Hard. Painful. Drowning. You don't even want to be saved. Then she sends a picture to your phone as you are losing consciousness. She is beautiful, radiant, and she says "She thinks it will work out..." You grab hold of that hope and begin to float. She sends another picture and says "When the junk is tossed out." You begin to think, no problem, have no junk. Only, she is talking about her junk, and she won't toss it out. She wants to get back together, only, she is still dating and sleeping with other men even though she is telling you she is not. So maelstrom swallows your pride, your hope, everything, and fades to black. How can people seem so sincere and loyal, and still lie to your face, your heart, your soul. How can they seem like amazing people that you really want to be near, but poison you while smiling and telling you that they love you? How do they do this knowing there are six children's hearts and souls hanging on this too? Something I will obviously NEVER understand.
So, second thing:
What happens when a grandfather hands a nine year old his phone to play with? A phone with picture, video, and MMS capability? The nine year old makes a music video to send to his dad at work. :-) If you want to know what true love really is, ask or watch a child.
I'll link the video here just as soon as I figure out how to convert the format to something linkable/postable!
I just finally figured out how to even work the camera on my phone. I know it takes video, but don't have a clue how. I COULD send you a naughty pic or two. That'd sear your brain!
ReplyDeleteHang in there kiddo. The memories are hard lived, and often harder to get rid of. It'll come with time, but the time in between is truly a bitch to get through. You'll make it.