I guess I'm just feeling post-prone tonight. It is like 2:07am. An email battle of hate, and hurt, and love, deep disappointment, and desperate hope is raging. I hate it. More than anything, I just wanted a complete family to belong to, to love, to hug, to dance with, to raise, to be happy with, to be sad with....but no chance of that happening at this point, and the depressions returns with reinforcements.
Love isn't always an emotion. Sometimes it is a stick-to-it, I have your back, you have mine, we are in the fox hole getting shot at, but we are going to slog through it even though you are being a jerk right now decision. I can certainly be quite a jerk. I can also be quite awesome too.
I wrote this a few weeks after my mom died, and about six months before my wife and I separated...all in 2001.
Friends First and Forever
In the beginning your looks drew me near
But it's our friendship that keeps me here
We were not lovers but friends from the start
And it was our friendship that captured my heart
There's no other beauty in this world you can find
That can capture my heart or change my mind
I share everything with you and leave nothing out
I'll love you forever, of that there's no doubt
We've had some problems, and have often been sad
But sharing them with you I'll look back and be glad
You were there by my side in my most troubled times
And when you smile, my whole world just shines
Another day has come and another one has gone
The future is cloudy but still we move on
Forever is waiting for you and I
We'll meet it together, you're hand in mine
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